| ewwwww |
[May. 3rd, 2006|10:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | your mom | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nauseated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | fuck you | ] |
ew
so im promising myself
i swear to God
I'm not fucking taking ONE fucking bite
of ANYTHING
for 12 days
im totally fucking serious
this is time
for some starvation
i can drink w.e. the fucki want.. mainly water but if i need some sugar gatorade, MAYBE soda w/e and i can have alcohol but mainly wine..
im SO serious
NO FOOD
ok well im gonna update this every day so lets see how i do trying NOT to be a fatass
I just threw up for like 25 min..
it was gross
i threw up a lot of blood
i want to be thin
i cant wait til i am :)
ill just think of it this way..
if I eat.. Stefan won't come.. if i don't he will
hehe :) |
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| Gross. |
[May. 1st, 2006|02:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My Bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mean Girls | ] |
EWW I can't even fucking believe it. I just weighed myself and I'm 143!!! 5 LBs. FROM ONE DAY OF EATING. NASTY. ugh. Ok so I'm not even looking at the scale until Thursday, and I ate a little today, but starting tomorrow complete fasting/working out lots. I think it's supposed to rain this week so I'll have to use the treadmill. I have work tonight at 5 and then when I come home I have to clean my room b/c it's a fucking sty. Ew I can't wait til Thursday just to know I'm down in the 130s again.. thats bullshit its like im doing the exact same thing as last week.. trying to get down to like 138.. whatever I WILL be 125 when Stefan gets here and thats a problem. So that's 15 days. 18 lbs. So um 1.3 lbs a day? Easy. I HATE FEELING FAT. EWW. |
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| Weekend |
[Apr. 29th, 2006|10:58 am] |
Ok, so I'm still 138, which is fucking annoying cos I thought I would have lost a little since yesterday. The really shitty thing is that I HAVE to eat this weekend.. Like tommorow is Zach's bday and we'll have a bbq and there's tons of good food and then of course beer.. And tonight I mean I get free food at work and it's Saturday night and I eat every Saturday cos Brit and I have wine and some eats and get tipsy watching movies.. So I guess I'll eat this weekend.. and NOT look at the scale.. then Monday til Saturday its back to less than 100 Calories again.. and exercising 24/7.. and I won't look on the scale til like.. Wednesday.. ok umm that's it! It's so nice out, I'm going to sunbathe.. |
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| :) |
[Apr. 29th, 2006|12:41 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My Room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rhianna - S.O.S | ] |
So I'm finally going to have time to start using this journal again. I'm so happy. I'm down to 138, and I know I can be down to 130 by like next Sunday, easy. :)And only 18 days til Stefan is here. Man, I haven't eaten a full meal in so long it's going to hurt if I try. Lol. I'm really glad I'm in the habit of drinking tons of H20 now becauuse that was always such a problem for me, i would starve myself but not drink at all or like have crappy soda or something.. now I drink 4 bottles of Poland Spring a day which I think is equivalent to 8 glasses. Whatever. I've been laying out the past few days and I actually have a little tan! Yay! So, now that I know I'm going to be living in Berlin for a few months in the fall... I have SO much incentive to lose weight. It's awesome. I will NOT go over there as some FAT american girl. I'm going to be just as skinny as all those uber tall svelte bitches. And I'm going to stay that way. I mean, I'm going to be shopping 24/7 so I'll never want to go up a size.. that'd be depressing.. I'm going to do this now and forever... because Stefan deserves a skinny girl, and I deserve it more. :) CAN't WAIT only 18 DAYS!!! |
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| hmmmm |
[Mar. 23rd, 2006|10:35 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | TV- A Commercial | ] |
Wow it just only took like 2 minutes to puke up everything in my stomach... that's a good sign, means my stomach got smaller :).. I was wondering.. Does puking work your stomach muscles? haha Because you clench and unclench them so.. I mean I would think it does.. hmm now I'm not sure if I even want to eat today.. Tommorow only a small salad.. Sat. fast.. Sun. small salad, mon. small salad.. tues. fast... hmm I want to lossssssssse weight. Seriously I never realized it but it really IS way harder to lose weight as you get older.. When I was 16 and fasted for like 2 days I would lose like 7 lbs.. |
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| ewww |
[Mar. 23rd, 2006|10:13 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Eric Prydz - Call on Me | ] |
It's like 10:13 AM and I'm eating fuckin' SALT and VINEGAR chips! what is wrong with me? ewww. I'm letting myself finish the bag.. (there was only like 1/8th left) and then I'm gonna puke it all up.. I'm so mad at myself.. Tommorow small salad.. Saturday fasting..
XoXoX |
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| lalalalalala |
[Mar. 22nd, 2006|09:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Madonna - Sorry | ] |
I don't want to be fat anymore. :(
I can't wait to get this book: French Women Don't Get Fat: The Secret of Eating for Pleasure.. the way French women eat is the way I'd really like to eat.. it's the same with German women.. and well lots of Europeons.. (not as much British or Irish)..
It's just SO much of this "life improving" stuff I want to do.. isn't going to happen until Stefan and I have our own place! It's so annoying! I mean I want
a. healthy food in my house
b. tons of spices
c. a gorgeous kitchen/awesomely equipped
d. nice kitchenware
e. tons of plants
f. MY OWN LAUNDRY ROOM SO PEOPLE DON'T RUIN MY NICE CLOTHES!!
g. privacy
h. own BR so I can have nice bath stuff no one uses and nice fluffy towels
i. a place to call our own.. :) |
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| Just woke up.. |
[Mar. 22nd, 2006|11:08 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ashlee Simpson - L.O.V.E. | ] |
Ok so I fasted yesterday and I was all excited to see my weight... I'm 146.. :-/ so I did lose 2 lbs but I wish I lost more! Today I eat (less than 250 cals), drink tons of water, exercise, clean, do hw, study with Lorna, watch ANTM chill watch SATC and sleep. Haha. So much for a day off. I can't wait til tommorow at least I'll have money and can go out shopping. Eww I gotta go wash my face and brush my teeth, my breath is killin me..
xOxOxOx |
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| whatevvver |
[Mar. 20th, 2006|10:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | TV- Sex and the City | ] |
So I'm about to hop in bed and watch Sex and the City.. and then pass out because I have to wake up early for work... plus I have to pick up Dave and bring him in too so I have to wake up even earlier.. ugh.. I'm so mad I just opened the fridge and had like 4 bites of chicken.. I feel disgusting.. eww.. I'm totally fasting all day tommorow.. only water and juice.. should be easy enough bc I'll be busy all day.. Just have to make sure once I get home I am busy too so I don't EAT! So hmm I'll get home at 7:20.. take a bath because that's longer than a shower.. read my new abe lincoln bio.. talk to stefan.. umm?? watch real world at 10 lol.. workout.. watch SATC and sleeeeep.. ok well that's it.. 59 MORE DAYS TO GET THIN!
xOxOx |
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| jsakldj |
[Mar. 17th, 2006|02:12 pm] |
I'm trying to get the hang of this whole like idk everything behind a link etc. and posting pics and stuff so what does this do:
( Read more... ) |
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| My Month |
[Mar. 9th, 2006|12:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Cypress Hill - Hits From the Bong | ] |
Caity just posted this as a MySpace bulletin so I'd thought I'd post Sept. here so I'll always have it.
------------SEPTEMBER---------------
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand. |
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| Thirsty Thursday |
[Mar. 9th, 2006|12:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | mellow | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Red Hot Chili Peppers - The Zephyr Song | ] |
So.. I guess this is officially the beginning of my LiveJournal. I wish I knew how to do cool things on this, like put Lindsay in the background of my page. Maybe you need one of those paid accounts for that. Hmm.. Whatever.. Anyway I'm starting this because I like Facebook lots, (so many random people find you), and MySpace is cool but I don't add anyone who I don't personally know. Except for Dane Cook. :-P Anyway, but I want to start this for a way of talking to people about things I like: Lindsay Lohan, fashion, Boston Red Sox, good beer, being fabulous.. haha, etc. etc. Also Stefan read like 3 of my REAL journals so I thought it would be safe to have a LiveJournal. Anyway. That's it I guess.
*youknowyouloveme* |
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